Help With What To Say
Here are some ideas to help you get started with what to say…
1. I love you...
Every moment, including all the times I didn’t actually say it or act that way.
I love you for the way you made me laugh, for the adventures we had, for the memories we shared, for just being there.
My love for you will always remain – I will always love you.
2. I would like to share with you…
My hopes and dreams for you…
My hopes and dreams for the future…
My thoughts on the meaning of life…
My philosophy on life…
My passwords, user names and account numbers…
3. I’m proud of you for…
Who you are and what you become no matter what you do.
The special things you will accomplish in the future.
I am proud that I could call you “friend” (or son, daughter, wife, husband, etc.).
The way you love and focus on others and always put their needs before your own.
4. What I appreciate most about you is…
Your thoughtfulness, kindness, selflessness and integrity.
You loved me when I was unlovable.
How you take care of our children.
Your zest and passion for life.
Your [fun, sarcastic, disturbing, bizarre, wacky] sense of humor!
Your sensitivity and the way you put others first.
5. Thank you for…
Giving my life purpose and joy.
For being my spouse, friend, mentor or any other relationship you are thankful for.
Our children and our beautiful family.
The way you were always there for me no matter what the circumstance.
That special holiday moment we shared?
When we were kids and how much fun we had?
When the cops pulled us over for shooting fireworks out of a moving car?
That road trip we took?
That secret we shared? I took it to my death… literally.
Children – strive to be the best you can.
To always find the silver lining (give advice).
To always be grateful.
When you saved the day by…
When you changed the future of your company…
7. Congratulations on…
Your life’s achievements. First steps, riding a bicycle, straight A’s, promotion, business success, etc.
Either big or small events – congratulations are always in order!
Overcoming challenges – including the amazing life you’re living without a (father, mother) around.
(If you have young children, you can offer future congratulations on their first job, first kiss, graduation, marriage, children, and more.)
8. Please forgive me for…
Things I have said or done that caused you pain.
Not being a good communicator.
Not letting you know how much I appreciated you (spouse, children, friends, or co-workers).
My past failures that may have affected you, such as…
Not telling you about my illness, diagnosis and/or prognosis.
9. I am sorry for…
Leaving this world without you.
Leaving you to raise our children alone.
All of our future plans that are not going to happen together.
The emotional toil my passing has put you through.
10. I trust you with…
Raising our children to be amazing adults.
Making good financial decisions for our family, business, etc.
Doing your best in life with its myriad challenges.
Living responsibly, but also following your dreams wherever they may take you.
Carrying on the family [sauce, casserole, dessert, guacamole] recipe!
11. Remember to…
Celebrate the life we shared, the memories we created and all the good times we had together.
There is no set timeline for grieving. Everybody handles these things differently. Take your time.
Focus on the good things in life and look forward to the future even as you mourn my death.
Pass on the family history/legacy.
12. It’s ok...
For you to remarry.
To feel upset/angry/sad.
To be happy.
To be relieved.
13. I always hoped you would…
Take over the family business.
Use your talents to make the world a better place.
14. Goodbye to…
Family, friends, or co-workers.
Your fur babies.
Your “favorite” places. For example, the mountains, the beach, your favorite restaurant or your favorite park.
For now but only for a little while, for because I know we will meet again in heaven.